What’s it really about from 2013

It is so strange reading this piece from almost 5 years ago! LOL

I’m at a strange point in my life. From psychological perspective, I feel like there have been more changes in the past couple years that have been experienced in my entire time on earth. When looking at the past, I see myself as an angry person. Not so much at the people or situations in my life, but at myself; internally. Never happy with the way things go, always looking for something more, never appreciating my accomplishments or the people in my life or the way things are. A tug of war between positive and negative emotions. These days, the positive emotions are winning the tug of war.

That analogy is pretty lame as it doesn’t begin to express what’s happening. I see many people around me struggling with their own life complications, something I never really considered or noticed before and it affects me. I feel an understanding and compassion now, where as before I would shut them out emotionally, discard them, judge them. It seems everyone is dealing with “stuff” and so am I. In a way, I think it unites us as imperfect beings and the key is realizing and accepting that your imperfect; we’re all in this together.

It really is a state of mind. Being self-conscious, angry, depressed, having low self-esteem only get in the way of your true self. It’s there, I can feel it… if I could just let go of all the baggage; to realize all that’s negative doesn’t serve me at all.

It could end

It could end in sorrow.
It could end in pain.
It could end tomorrow,
while sipping on champagne.
It could end in rest.
It could end in sleep.
It could end undressed,
while experiencing a dream.
It could end in cheer
It could end in bliss
It could end unclear,
If there’s anything I missed.
It could end in being.
It could end in knowing.
It could end seeing,
presence was all I needed.
-Geary LeBell